Elder Crayk and I came walking up the driveway of a small home. The mother who had called us for help with a 40-year-old son with an alcohol problem, came running out of the house crying. Gasping for breath she cried, "Thank goodness you are here. They are fist fighting!"
        I thought, "Oh, goody!" But there is something about the look of a mother that I can't say "no" to. So, despite some mixed feelings, we went into the house. There we could feel hate, anger, fear, and contention. I said, "Elder Crayk, can you feel that ugly feeling in this house? That is our enemy--that is what we are here to throw out."
        There are some people who live in a constant state of contention, fear, and anger and are not even aware of it. In my own case, I remember right after I was married, I got really angry with my wife and stormed out of the house. I was walking at a fast pace, thinking, "How dare she talk to me like that? Why, I'm going to make her pay!"
        When I felt this uncomfortable feeling in my heart, a still, small voice whispered from the center of my soul, "Bob, what would Jesus do?" So I turned down the whole production in my head of getting even and thought, what would Jesus do?
        I guess he would go home and tell his wife that he was sorry, that he was wrong, and that he loved her. So I went straight home. As I walked into the house, you could feel that ugly feeling of anger and contention. With one word, I could start a war. I walked up behind her and whispered, "Honey, I'm sorry I was wrong. I love you." Right at that moment, that ugly spirit of hate, anger, and contention was cast out of our home and replaced with a feeling of peace.
        My dear Brothers and Sisters, this mission is inviting you to come and join us in the Light, live in the Light. Come, let us learn of the light.

A Small and Simple Thing

        Most people when they first come to these meetings, when they first sit down, have a feeling when they wake up in the morning like something is wrong, a feeling of fear, a feeling like something is coming to get them-a nervous, uncomfortable feeling that always seems to be there.
        You might also notice that if you look in your mind's eye, there seems to be problems there that are so big that you also can't see any possible way of solving them or working them out. I remember myself--I'm a recovered alcoholic. Just looking at the problems of my life in my head-I had warrants for my arrest' I didn't have a job, my family didn't want me around anymore, I mean the problems were just so big that I really could see no way of ever possibly working them out.
        So, the first thing I would like you to know is that whatever brought you to these meetings, whether you are a family member or you are a person suffering from substance abuse, or alcohol abuse or whatever it is that you're struggling with--you have found the right place. The help you are looking for will be found in these meetings. You will feel, I promise you, with priesthood power and authority, that if you will right now just commit to yourself to not just go to a meeting once in awhile, but go to a meeting every day, and to read your scriptures, and to say your prayers every day, and if you'll do those three simple things, that within a very short period of time, you will feel a very real, sweet feeling of hope come over you and a very real, unseen power, the Spirit of Jesus Christ, the power of his Atonement will come into your life and you will discern an unseen Hand helping you to carry the load. It will help remove that feeling of fear and uncertainty and hopelessness and replace it with a feeling of hope and courage. For truly there's nothing more precious than having a feeling of well-being.
        In my own case I am a very real recovered alcoholic--drug addict. I remember going to AA meetings and addict treatment programs. We would talk about everything but what was going on way down deep inside. The reason that is important is because that feeling like something is wrong all the time, is directly connected to those very deep secrets. You will never be truly at peace with yourself until you align yourself with and deal with what you really believe way down deep in your heart.
        One time when I was about 25 years old, I OD'd on drugs. I had a very real near-death experience. I am going to do my best to give you an eye-witness account of what happens to you when you are taken by surprise by death. I just remember I did a handful of drugs and I went to bed. It was just another night for me and I remember waking up with a feeling like something was really wrong. I remember looking around my room at all the trash and garbage and rubbing my face and telling myself, "Man, I feel like I'm dying." That's when this very real, ice-cold presence came into the room. I heard this very fierce voice in the center of my soul say, "That's because you are dying." Death was in the room with me. This was not a dream, this was not my imagination. I have never been more wide awake in my life. The rush that shot through my body was so intense--I felt like I looked down and noticed that I was standing in a pile of rattlesnakes.
        The first thing I remembered was a Three-D, Technicolor, panoramic review of my life start to unfold. The things that are my darkest secrets, the things I don't want anyone to know about seemed to be the things that came to the forefront. The next thing I remember was this feeling washing over me that I had just a few seconds before it was time to be brought into the presence of God.
        In the Book of Mormon there is a guy in there called Alma the Younger. He had a very real near-death experience. He talks about the very thought of coming into the presence of God did fill his soul with inexpressible horror. He wished that the mountains would cover him up; he wished that he never existed. I also bear witness with a first-hand account that is exactly what happens.
        Well, I obviously lived! But there was a big ugly incident with ambulances and paramedics--my mother looking at me in the back of the ambulance with a look only a mother can give you. I sure never planned on becoming an alcoholic--drug addict. That sure wasn't on my list of things to do. I just liked to have fun with my friends. I liked kegs of beer, I liked smoking pot, I liked lighting big fires, and listening to the stereo really loud, and just having fun. Back in those days it was magic, it was fun.
        But, somewhere along the line, it changed. Not only did it quit being Inn, but it started to make me sick. I remember when I was young, I used to be able to party all night; maybe sleep an hour, then I'd get up and go to work and just blow it off. and I'd be just fine. But as I got older, when I'd go on a binge, when I would come down--it was a nightmare! I would get so sick--I didn't know how you could be that sick and not die. I would remember my mind just spinning a million miles an hour with all the things that were wrong in my life. I have warrants for my arrest two months before it's time to go see a judge--by the way, my family tells me that I have until Monday to move out of their house. All that mixed in with a feeling like how can you be this sick and not die, and wondering if I were going to be brought into the presence of God any second. As you get into your drug and alcohol career, when you go through your big time withdrawal, you get so sick that you have a foot in both worlds where you could really die.
        I remember pacing back and forth, having hot sweats and cold sweats, and just telling myself --that's it. I'm never going to go through this again. I quit! This is a nightmare! And so I spend about 20 hours on the border line between life and death. A voice inside was saying, "Well, if you want to live, you'd better eat something."
        The last thing in the world I wanted to do was to eat something. But you know to survive, to live through this thing, you have to eat something. I would get myself a sandwich and take a couple of bites and then I would go into the bathroom and throw up, and throw up, and throw up--come wandering out, and then turn around and go back in and throw up some more. But eventually, alter a few tries, I finally get some food in me and keep down--that would be the first part of the big time withdrawals. The second part is trying to get some sleep--and it is so hard to sleep. You just pace back and forth with your mind on fire about how messed up everything is--it's just so dark. I don't see any way out. I was always so afraid that if I lay down, I would die and not get back up. But finally, I would just be so exhausted that I would have to lay down and I would finally fall asleep. I would wake up a couple of days later, and I would have that feeling come over me like maybe, I'm going to live through this thing, maybe I'm going to get another chance at life--followed immediately with a nervous, uneasy feeling.
        I was still in big trouble--everybody was mad at me. That's when I would start something I called "Operation Weasel." That's where you tell your family members everything that they want to hear, so they will let you come home. "I'm going to change my whole life. I'm really sorry--this time. Then if I were really in a lot of trouble, I would go through a drug treatment program. That's when I would start going to meetings like this substance abuse class, or Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous. (By the way, I have a testimony that AA and NA are divinely-inspired programs and are of great worth.)
        I would start going to these meetings, and I would get a job and I would go see judges, and I started paying off my court fines. My family, bless their hearts, never stopped loving me. They didn't know what to do. They were living in this state of constant anxiety, too. But they never stopped loving me.
        Finally they'd give in and say , "Okay, Bob, you can come home, but there are going to be some rules, there's going to be changes."
        And I would say, "Yeah, yeah I changed my whole life, remember."
        I would get to a point where I would just barely, and I mean just barely get my life back together again. It's was a shaky house of cards. I would barely get things going good again. And for me, it would usually last about thirty days before I couldn't take it anymore. I mean, I know I'm in trouble. I know if I slip again, I'm going to lose my place to live; I could go to jail. I could die!
        In a lot of meetings I went to and in a lot of treatment programs that I've been through, people tell their "war stories" and their "drunk-a-logs" but they never talk about what is really going on way down deep inside them. For me, it wasn't just drugs and alcohol, it was this whole thing--this ugly, compulsive thing inside me. It was my most powerful temptations, mixed with drugs and alcohol. It was fear and anxiety--an overwhelming desire for relief and escape. My temptations didn't just show up for an hour, they didn't just show up for a day--they showed up for a week. How many of us have been trying to be good and just walking along and hear that little voice saying," Why even, try. You're never going to beat this thing. Just give in. Why even try?"
        I was trying to be good-going to meetings. But, my temptations were so powerful and seductive that I didn't know how to resist those nervous, uneasy feelings. I remember trying not to think about it, but it shows up--I might beat it that day, and the next day it shows up again. And I start thinking about it, and then I invite it into my head, and then all of a sudden, it's all I can think about. I become possessed! I know I'm going down. A full-scale compulsive-addictive behavior attack! I know what it feels like to not care if you hurt somebody, if you let your family down. I mean, I cared, but this thing is so seductive and so insistent that you'll tell yourself anything, so you can go do your thing one more time. I know what it feels like to not care if you go to jail or prison. It's that powerful when my temptation would show up. My family can kind of tell something is up. There's a very real change that comes over me.
        They'd look at me and say, "hey, Bob, are you okay?"
        I'd say, "Yeah, I'm okay. I changed my whole life, remember?" But I've got this mad compulsion going on inside of me, I'm completely possessed. I remember being around the "normal" people in my life. With my little sack lunch in my hand, I said, "All right, I'm going to work now." But in my head , there's a run-away freight train. I know I'm going down. There's no turning around.
        Then comes that magic moment when I make my move! I've got $500 in my pocket. I tell my family that I'm going to get a gallon of milk now. I take off and I don't come back. My family knows I've been gone too long. They know I'm "on one." I'm off across town thinking about them--thinking about me. Now this is a real important moment. I remember I'd be walking down a hallway of the apartment house on my way to buy drugs and I could smell the dope smoke and I could hear the stereo music playing. On my way down that hallway, I would feel this real uncomfortable feeling in my heart--as my breast swelled up with this uneasy feeling. A feeling kind of like-something's wrong.
        A still, small voice way down in the center of my soul would whisper, "Bob, what are you doing? You just got a job. You just got your family to talk to you again. You almost died last time you did this. What are you doing, Bob?"
        I humbly bear witness that the uncomfortable feeling you feel when you're on your way to do something you know isn't right is the Spirit of Jesus Christ. Jesus says, "My sheep know my voice and do follow after me"...and that is His voice. The Scriptures also talk about people who harden their hearts. And that's what I would do; I would harden my heart and say, "Shut up, little voice! I don't want to hear it!" Besides after I do a few lines and have a few beers, I won't even know that little voice exists. That little uncomfortable feeling you feel on your way to do something wrong is the heart of the LDS Program. There's nothing magic, nothing fancy going on here. It's a real simple concept--and it's simply this--quit resisting what you know is right in your heart. Hearken unto the voice of the Good Shepherd. Build your foundation out of rock, lay a foundation of complete honesty with yourself and others.
        If you want proof that there really is a God, there really is a Jesus Christ who loves you and is always there for you, if you want to feel his Spirit, if you want to hear his voice--the quickest way I know is to go on your way to do something wrong--feel that uncomfortable feeling in your heart that what you're about to do just isn't right. Every person in the world has this gift. It's always there. You can he watching something on television and you just feel in your heart that what you're watching isn't right. Or if you lie to somebody as you walk away, you get that uneasy feeling and that little voice in the center of your soul whispers, "What you just did isn't right, and you know it"
        Let's read about this very real and loving power of the Spirit of Jesus Christ and how to apply it in your life. In Doctrine & Covenants 88: 7 "This is the light of Christ (this little place in your heart is called the light of Christ) and he is also in the sun and
the light of the sun, and the power thereof by which it was made.."
        Let me stop right now and repeat that....that little place in your heart is the same power that created the sun. You think the same Power that created the sun can't help you get a job? You think that same Power that created the sun can't help you get an apartment? I humbly bear witness-that it can. Let's go on....verse 8: "also He is in the moon, and the light of the moon and the power thereby which it was made, and also the light of the stars and the power by which they made, and the earth also the power thereof even the earth upon which thou stands. This light which shineth which giveth you light is through Him who enlighteneth your eyes. It is the same light which quickeneth your understanding. This light proceedeth forth from the presence of God to fill the immensity of space."
        I mean we are all modern people. If you look in the air, you don't see anything there, but you know that there are TV waves there, there are radio waves there, there's microwaves there, and there's the Spirit of Jesus Christ..there. "This light proceedeth forth from the presence of God to fill the immensity of space. This light which is in all things giveth light to all things which is the law by which all things are governed even the power of God who sitteth upon his throne in the bosom of eternity, who is in the midst of all things."
        I humbly bear witness that it is the same power that restored sight to the blind, cleansed the leper, and raised the dead...and it is the same power that will heal you.
        That is pretty much the heart of our program. The answer has been right under your nose your whole life. Quit resisting the Spirit of the Lord. Humble yourself and become willing to do what you know is right. That is the foundation to he laid by anybody who truly wants to get better and be healed.
        Thirteen years ago, not only did I like being drunk and on drugs all the time, I also liked dangerous people. I liked the feeling that
anything could go wrong, and usually did. One of the places I wound up living was in a motorcycle clubhouse. I remember being in this motorcycle clubhouse, partying with these guys, drinking some whiskey straight. I remember throwing up all of this bright red blood. I hadn't eaten for days. I was doing drugs, drinking beer, smoking cigarettes. I was so burned out; I felt so weak. But I had this image to uphold--black leather jacket, big motorcycle. I'm this tough guy. But this stuff going on way down deep inside of me--I did my best to pretend it wasn't there. My family doesn't want me to live at their house anymore. I don't have a job. I don't have a driver's license. I wonder if I got cancer. I wonder if I got tumors. It was all an act. I wasn't a tough guy. You could have blown me over with a feather. My body was in horrible shape. I'd reached the end of the line, again, where I knew it was time to check into detox and go for my five thousandth withdrawal from drugs and alcohol.
        I checked in, but this time something happened way down deep inside me. My heart broke. I couldn't take it anymore. That very real power of God that was always there around me my whole life. You lie to somebody; you get an uneasy feeling. You do something that you know isn't right; you get that uncomfortable feeling inside. It was always there, that very real power of God. I knelt down before it and acknowledge it. I quit trying to pretend that that little place in my heart wasn't there. I humbly said, "Father in Heaven, I don't want to live like this anymore. And I don't know what to do. I don't even know where to start. Father in Heaven, please help me to be a good person. Please help me beat this ugly thing inside of me. Help me be free of this thing."
        I got up and I got to go through my withdrawals, the hot sweats and the cold sweats, and pacing back and forth. I remember looking at my life, and I hope you can relate with this as you look at whatever problem is in front of you, I remember the problems in
my head were so overwhelming. I had warrants for my arrest. I didn't have a job or a driver's license. I had medical problems. It was such a tangled mess, that I just didn't see any way back. The only thing that I had left was that little place in my heart that told me the difference between right and wrong. I made the decision to humble myself, quit trying to pretend that little place wasn't there, and to listen to Him.

"Fear Not; Only Believe"

        I remember walking out into the day room of the detox. I remember I lied to a guy, and as I walked away I felt this uncomfortable feeling in my heart. A still small voice whispered, "What you just did wasn't right." And I listened to it, and I turned around and I went back to the guy and said, "Hey, I just lied to you." He looked at me with the typical detox look of get away from me weirdo.
        Something really important was happening deep inside of me. A very real, loving power, the Spirit of Christ is a sanctifying power. It's a healing power--the power that created the sun can restore you to sanity. I remember walking up to the front desk, already to pull a "weasel" on the counselors. I was thinking I've got to get out of this place. I was walking towards them. We have all been there, when we're ready to lie to somebody and just as you're about ready to let it go, you feel that little feeling in your heart that what you're about to do isn't right. I felt that feeling and I chose not to lie. And I walked right past them without saying a word.
        What I'm hoping that you can see is that as I hearkened to the very real loving power, the Spirit of Jesus Christ, that with each passing month I noticed that I was lying just a little bit less. Until I reached a day where I don't lie--ever. The Spirit of Christ is a sanctifying, healing power that lifts you up and will make more out of your life than you ever thought possible. A very real healing, cleansing power. I used to swear every other word. With each passing month, I swore a little bit less until I don't swear--ever.
        Now if you believe in God, you've got to believe in that other guy--Satan. He's just as real, he's right there. In fact, he gets up an hour in the morning before you do and he says, "Oh good, you're awake. You're doomed; there's no hope. You're never going to work this thing out. Why even try?"
        I remember that other little voice saying, "You're never going to get a job." And I believed it; it just seemed so hopeless. But, I started going to substance abuse meetings. Anyway, I started saying my prayers. I started reading my Scriptures. And I started listening to that little place in my heart. I didn't know where else to go, so I started hanging around down at the detox. The director of the place got so sick of looking at me, that one day. He said, "Bob, since you're here so much, we might as well pay you. How would you like a job?"
        A very real, loving power--the power of Jesus Christ, can help you get a job. By the way, that director, he probably doesn't even know what happened to him. But as he was walking by me, I'm sure ~ must have felt that little feeling in his heart and that still small voice whispered, "Hey, give that guy a job."
        That's how it works. Say there is a little old lady on the side of the road with a flat tire. She prays, "Father, please help me. I can't fix this alone."
        You drive by and see her and feel that little feeling in your heart and hear the Master's voice say, "Pull over and help her."
        Take advantage of this very real, loving power to put your life back together again. My lower power, Satan, said, "You're never going to get a driver's license." Well, I got a driver's license. He said, "You're never going to get a car."
Well, I got a car. "You're never going to get an apartment." Well, 1 got an apartment. I now have everything that my lower power, Satan, told me I couldn't have.
        The very real, loving power of Jesus Christ will restore everything that's been taken away from you. In fact, he will make more out of your life than you ever thought possible. I am at a point in my life where I am astounded. I didn't know that I could have a home, and a family, and be a normal person. I just didn't want to die when this adventure first started. And at the right time in my life, the Lord brought a really sweet, young gal into my life. I can't emphasize how important it is to have a loving mate in your life, one that is there for the right reasons.
        I remember that this sweet gal came into my life, and I felt that little place in my heart and heard, "Bob, you can't shack up, and you can't live together. You need to be married. You need to honor her womanhood. You need to make her your wife."
        I can't tell you how much my wife has helped me to be a good person. And another thing I am going to share with you, and this is a little embarrassing, but you really need to know this; sex is a very powerful, powerful urge, and it's always there. I remember that after we'd been married, she and I were reading our scriptures together, and saying our prayers, and this is personal, but you need to know it. I remember that after we'd been intimate, after we'd had sex together, walking down the hallway of our apartment, and feeling that place in my heart, that small voice let me know that what just happened was a beautiful thing--that it wasn't dirty--that it was a wonderful thing between a man and a woman. As long as it is within the bounds that the Lord has set.
        Everything that my lower power or Satan told me I couldn't have I had. I had a job, and a driver's license, a car, a wife, and an apartment. Finally, all of these legal problems that I could see no way of ever working out, started to work themselves out, despite me.
        I'm going to make a promise with priesthood power and authority. What priesthood power and authority means is that I can make a promise in behalf of Father in Heaven and He will make it come to pass. And this is the promise--that if you will humble yourself and do what you know is right in your heart, hearken unto the voice of the Good Shepherd.    
        Say it's Sunday morning and you're thinking I'm going to skip church today, but you feel that little place in your heart prompt you to get up and go. Listen. Get up and go.
        If you're watching something on TV and you get that uncomfortable feeling that what you're watching isn't right, turn it off; hearken unto this very real, loving power--the Spirit of Jesus Christ. Say your prayers. Read your scriptures. Go to meetings. If you will but humble yourself and go through these actions, this is the promise: Those things in your head that you could see no way of ever solving, or ever working out, whether it's jobs, legal problems, or whatever it is, I'll tell you with priesthood power and authority that this very real, loving power, the power of Jesus Christ, will help you work it out--despite you. I repeat, things you could see never being worked out will work themselves out as you humble yourself and develop the faith to be healed.
        I am a High Priest in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. It's my job to teach people the different levels of spirituality and gently, and lovingly take you from level to level. The level we're on now is called the "Light of Christ." It's available to every man and woman upon the face of the earth--everyone has it. Now, we're going to go to the next level. Once again, it's what this program is all about. It's the goal, it's the thing you need to keep in mind, it's the prize. Keep your eyes on the prize. It's simply this, as sure as you feel the light of Christ,or the Spirit of your Father in Heaven, there is a higher manifestation of that Spirit. It feels like fifty times more powerful. And that's the goal. And right now I'm going to draw you a line right to it.
        Now my drug addiction and my alcoholism, the best way I can describe them--it was like a big, empty nervous hole in the center of my soul. I'd wake up in the morning and I'd feel nervous, like something is coming to get me--and I need a valium, I need a codeine, I need a beer, I need a cigarette--I need something--to make that uneasy, nervous feeling inside quiet.
        Fourteen years ago, by doing just what I'm asking you to do, by reading my scriptures, by saying my prayers, going to these meetings, and doing what I knew was right in my heart, I put together eight whole months of genuine sobriety. If you knew me, you would know that is a miracle.
        I humbly bear witness that I came home from a meeting one night and sat down on a couch; and a very real, sweet, warm feeling filled the room. It filled that nervous, empty hole inside of me with the sweetest peace I've ever known. It removed completely that insane urge to use drugs and alcohol. A very real power above my own that helps me handle a compulsive, addictive attack when they occur. The grace of God--serenity (whatever you choose to call it); it's totally real. And it is definitely one of the main goals of this program to achieve it.
        Let's review it. Step one: We humbly admit we're powerless over this very real, compulsive addictive THING inside of us that we cannot beat alone. And if we give into this insane urge, it will completely ruin our life, again.
        Step two: We come to believe that a very real, loving power, the Spirit of Jesus Christ can restore us to sanity.
        Step three: Turn our life and our will over to the care of this loving power. In other words, if you're ever on your way to do something wrong, and you feel that uncomfortable feeling in your heart; listen to it.
        Let's jump down to step 12. Step 12: Having had a very real spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we feel a very real power above our own that helps us to resist our compulsive, addictive attacks when they occur. I ~ these steps will work on any compulsive-addictive behavior including deviant sexual behavior, drug and alcohol abuse, overeating, whatever it is you're wrestling with.  You can adjust in your mind this program, and tailor it to whatever you're working on. I bear witness that your Father in Heaven loves you just as much as He loves anybody else, and He will help, heal and strengthen you to overcome your problem.
        Now keep in mind, you're going to have to do maintenance on yourself once you've achieved this spiritual awakening--for the rest of your life. I've done the field research for you. I've quit reading my scriptures and I've quit saying my prayers and I've quit going to my meetings. I've felt that nervous, uncomfortable hole inside come back--and I've fallen. But, I bear witness that no matter how many times you make mistakes, or how far gone you feel , He will return to you with a loving reassurance, as sure as the sun comes up in the morning.
        If; after you've made a mistake, just get down on your knees and say, "Father in Heaven, I'm sorry. I knew better and I did it anyway, but please have mercy on me. Please help me to be a good person" Then if you'll get up, go to a meeting, and come home and read your scriptures, and do it again the next day, and do it again the next day, that same sweet, loving spirit will come back and wash over you and let you know that you're okay again.
        This is Step 10 of our program. Step ten: Realizing that the weakness to be tempted and to sin is a part of the mortal experience, we continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it, being willing to repent as often as needed.
        Now we've gone through the first two levels of spirituality--the Light of Christ and the Grace of Christ. There is a higher level which is called the Baptism by Fire and the Holy Ghost--to have the Holy Ghost as your constant companion. That is the next level. Let's go to that now. As I hearken unto this very real, loving power--the Spirit of Christ, I eventually just felt in my heart, that it was time to go back to church. I could just feel it.
        It had been two years, and in that time I remember feeling that it was time to quit smoking. I had a feeling come into me that it was time to quit drinking coffee. A very real, loving power was helping me to become the best possible person I could become, instead of the worst possible person I could become. I was being led in wisdom and in order--solving one problem at a time. Follow the compass in your heart. It will never lie to you, and it will never steer you wrong. If someone is telling you something that just isn't true, you will get that uncomfortable feeling inside-like this just doesn't fit. But, what I'm telling you fits to the center of your soul because I'm giving you pure, gospel truth--undefiled, unpolluted by the philosophies of men.
        Put your trust in the Savior, read your scriptures and say your prayers. Follow the little place in your heart and it will lead you to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.
        I remember telling my wife one day, "Honey, we need to go to church." She looked at me like 'you're crazy! That place is full of Mormons."
        And I said, "Honey, I don't know why, but I think it's time we go to church."
        Up to that time, we'd been reading our scriptures together every day, saying our prayers, and going to our meetings. So, one day I put on my white shirt and my tie and she put on her dress. I remember feeling like I wasn't as good as everybody over there, that I didn't belong, and that I didn't fit in. But, I remember that little place in my heart telling me that I needed to be there. So we did, we went over there.
        The first thing that I found out was that we were the prejudiced ones. People over there were so kind and loving. They just picked us up and lifted us onto their shoulders and carried us. But the place still made me very nervous. I remember we'd come in late and we'd leave early, so we didn't have to talk to anybody so they couldn't catch up with us. We'd go home and not go back for a couple of weeks. We'd go back to other substance abuse meetings. We were saying our prayers and reading our scriptures.
        But that little place in my heart kept tugging at me, just saying, "Bob, you need to go back." So, eventually, we went back and finally sat through a whole Sacrament Meeting and a whole Sunday School and a whole Priesthood Meeting. We started to get used to get used to it. We started paying our tithing--that was a hard one. We started to do our home teaching.
        That brings me to the little matter of this feeling I had down deep inside of an unfinished business, kind of an uncomfortable feeling-that I hadn't taken care of everything. There were things that I did while under the influence of drugs and alcohol that are so dark that I don't want anybody to know about them. If you've ever wondered where that feeling like something's wrong all the time comes from, you can connect it directly to that internal, intuitive knowledge that you have--that one of these days, you're going to stand in front of your Father in Heaven and give an accounting of your life and you're not ready. I felt that feeling like I hadn't come all the way home. Now I was raised in the LDS Church and what I had been taught was, in order to wipe the slate clean, to have a remission of sins, to be completely aligned with what I really believed deep in my heart, I needed to go in and talk to my bishop; to confess my sins.
        By the way, this is Step four and Step five of our program.
        Step four is made a searching and fearless moral inventory.
        Step five is, humbly, confess these things. I recommend strongly that you not try to find an easier, softer way. I remember I tried everything BUT. ..what I knew was right in my heart. I strongly recommend that you take this step to your bishop and not another way.
        I remember going over to my church and the bishop walking by and I grabbed him by the arm and said, "Bishop, I need to talk to you."
lie said, "Sure, Bob."
        Immediately, Satan put this giant wall up in my head, "There's no way you can go in and tell this guy the things you've done in your past. They're too dark, there are too many. There's just no way."
        That still, small voice in my heart whispered, "Bob, it's the only way, and you know it." So those were the four longest days of my life. I remember thinking I could just go in and tell him part. That little place in my heart whispered, "What's the point of even doing it?" The days started to go by. As that appointment became closer and closer, it was a very big deal to me. Satan just said there's no way you can go in there. The place in my heart said, "Bob, it's the only way, and you know it."
        Finally the day showed up and I put on my little white shirt and my tie, and I walked over to the church and I sat down outside of his office. The door opened up--and it was nothing like Satan told me it was going to be. It was loving; it was kind; it was gentle. I remember thinking I needed secretaries and computers and filing systems to remember all the stuff I'd done wrong. Where would I even start? But I didn't have to go through any of that. The bishop just said, "Hi, Bob, what can I do for you?"
        I said, "Bishop, I think I'm here to confess my sins."
        I just went by categories. He'd ask me a question here and there. Then I got to the categories that I'm the most afraid of; that I don't want anybody to know about. And I didn't leave them out.
        After I got done, I waited for something bad to happen. But, instead the bishop walked over and put his hand on my shoulder and said, "Bob, I think I can safely tell you that as far as the church is concerned, you've been forgiven of your sins."
        Do you want to have the best night's sleep you've ever had in your life? Do you want to have that feeling that something is horribly wrong all the time to be completely gone? There's only one way to do it for real and that's to align yourself with what you really believe in the center of your soul.
        I know how the Atonement of Jesus Christ works. The next time it's my turn to be in the lobby waiting to meet God' that absolute terror like I'm standing in a pile of rattlesnakes, won't be there. It's been replaced with a feeling like it's okay, a feeling of safety--of well-being. When it's time to watch the movie of my life, the things I'm the most afraid of, have been washed away by the Atonement of Jesus Christ. What an absolute, wonderful gift!
        Well, according to LDS doctrine, only the Lord can forgive sins. But it's so important that ye enter in at the gate, and the gate is your bishop's office. Or, if you're not a member of the church, to be baptized by one having authority, receive the gift of the Holy Ghost by the laying on of hands, enter in at the gate. Because what happens next is what it's all about. I humbly bear witness that I felt a really sweet, warm feeling wash over me. It's called baptism by fire and the Holy Ghost. It really is fire. I just felt this sweet, warm feeling all over me. And my mind just lit up. For anybody who has ever had a very real Holy Ghost experience, you'll know what I'm talking about. You'll learn more in a couple of seconds than you've known in a lifetime. You're lifted up to a whole level of understanding and of looking at things. And what else would it be but that very real, still small voice; and lie said in m mind and in my heart, "Thy sins are forgiven thee."
        I can't think of anything more precious on this earth than to have the highest court in the universe tell you that you've been forgiven of your sins. Though thy sins be of scarlet, I can make them Come, let us reason together. Jesus Christ means what he says. Don't listen to Satan. Your Father in Heaven loves you and wants you back. No matter what scenario Satan has put into your head telling you that it's hopeless, that there's no way back- it's a lie and there is a way back. Follow the light in your heart.
        Well, after that experience, one day my bishop came walking and said, "Bob, how would you like to go to the temple?"
        I thought, "No, there's no way. I can't go to that temple--the place would fall down." The bishop said, "Yes, you can."
        The next thing I knew, I was in temple preparation classes. Probably, the most wonderful experience I've ever had was going through the Salt Lake Temple and taking out my endowments, being sealed to my wife for time and all eternity. But a very, very special moment was when I passed through the veil into the Celestial Room in the temple, there was a little, white-haired lady waiting for me who was my mother. I gave her the longest hug. It's never been more all right--I made it up, I gave it back. I humbly bear witness that the light of Christ will bring you to program, eventually; it will bring you to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints; it will bring you into the waters of baptism; will bring you into your bishop's office; it will bring you into the Celestial Kingdom of your Father in Heaven; it will bring you all the way home. It will never lie to you; it will never steer you wrong.
        I humbly testify with a sure knowledge that the tender mercy of our Heavenly King is extended all the day long; that there is no sin (save it be denying the Holy Ghost) that you cannot work out a complete remission of sins. I have a dear friend out at the Utah State Prison. He is responsible for the death of two people. He has a life-threatening medical problem and has a long road to go down; but I have felt, on several occasions, the sweet influence of the Holy Ghost fill the room while we talked. There is a way back for him; there is hope. There are many families who have lost loved ones to drug and alcohol abuse through overdoses, accidents, disease, etc.
        We are to put no bounds upon the mercy of our Savior. Carefully examine the following statement in the light of Christ, the light of truth, that small tender place in your heart that tells you what is wrong or right. Would a loving Father leave his child burning in Hell forever? The answer is NO. Here is doctrine of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, as quoted by our General Authorities:

A Precious Promise
        The Prophet, Joseph Smith, declared--And he never taught more comforting doctrine--that the eternal sealings of faithful parents and the divine promises made to them for valiant service in the cause of truth, would save not only themselves, but likewise their posterity.
        Though some of the sheep may wander, the eye of the Shepherd is upon them, and sooner or later they will feel the tentacles of Divine Providence reaching out after them and drawing them back to the fold. Either in this life on in the life to come, they Will return. They will have to pay their debt to justice; they will suffer for their sins and may tread a thorny path. But if it leads them, at last, like the penitent "prodigal," to a loving and forgiving Father's heart and home, the painful experience will not have been in vain.
        Pray for your careless and disobedient children. Hold on to them with your faith. Hope on--trust on, 'till you see the salvation of God. Who are these starving sheep--these wayward sons and daughters? They are children of the covenant, heirs to the promise, and have received, if baptized, the Gift of the Holy Ghost, which makes manifest the things of God. Could all of that go for naught?
Orson F Whitney-Conference Report of the Church of Jesus of Latter-Day Saints, April 1919 -p1I8

All But the Sons of Perdition Will Be Redeemed Saved for the exception of the very few who defect to perdition, there is no habit, no addiction, no rebellion, no transgression, no apostasy, no crime exempted from the promise of complete forgiveness. That is the promise of the Atonement of Christ.  Some years ago I was in Washington, D.C. with President Harold B. Lee. Early one morning he called me to come into his hotel room. He was sitting in his robe reading Gospel Doctrine, President Joseph F. Smith, and he said,' Listen to this! Jesus not finished his work when his body was slain, neither did he it after his resurrection from the dead; although he had accomplished the purpose for which he then came to the earth, he not fulfilled all his work. And when will he? Not until he has redeemed and saved every son and daughter of our father Adam that have been or ever will be born upon this earth to the end of time, except the sons of perdition. That is his mission. (Boyd K. Packer Ensign, Nov.1995 ,p 20-21)

        I give it as my opinion that this LDS Substance Abuse Recovery Program will fill the earth, that it will be in operation on both sides of the veil through the Millennium and will work in harmony with the temples, bringing all souls unto Christ--both the living and the dead.
        I humbly bear witness in and of myself that through personal sacred experiences, I know that our Lord and Master, Jesus Christ, is at the head of this work. His Spirit will be poured out without measure in these, the last days. I bear witness that the leaders of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints are neither asleep nor out of touch with this substance abuse problem, but are in harmony with a grand eternal plan. That plan is moving neither too slow not too fast-neither to the right nor to the left--but in one straight eternal round with an intelligence and light that far surpasses the wisdom of man and is but one part of a great eternal tapestry woven with great skill and care by our Savior.
        I say these things humbly, in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

THE STRAIGHT AND CLEAR PATH

GUIDELINES FOR FACILITATORS
IN THE LDS FAMILY SERVICES
SUBSTANCE ABUSE RECOVERY PROGRAM

        The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints' 12-Step Recovery Program is the only 12-Step Program on the face of the earth that is operated by priesthood power and authority.
        This program is the official substance abuse recovery program of the Church,
using the priesthood line of authority. There are, however, many who hold the priesthood who are working in other 12-Step programs who do much good. In this program, we:

1. Recognize the good that other 12-Step programs do in preparing mankind for the higher law of the gospel.

2. Believe that many men and women who are honest in heart, who suffer from compulsive or addictive disorders, will be led to our program after first being prepared by the trials of life and after participating in other 12-Step programs. They will then be in a willing state to begin the journey back to full fellowship with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, with a goal of partaking in all of the ordinances necessary for exaltation in the Kingdom of God.

3. Believe that some will come and examine our program, find they are not ready, and go back to other 12-Step programs. In the Lord's own due time, they will be led back by the light of Christ to this program.

4. Believe that anyone, no matter what he or she has done, is of great worth, is a child of God, and is able to work out a remission of sins.

5. Believe that anyone, if he or she will humbly work this divinely-inspired program, will be healed and will receive, in the Lord's own due time, a manifestation of the Holy Ghost and a complete remission of sins.

6. Believe that the doctrine of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints should remain pure and undefiled by any outside philosophies of men.

7. Believe that the Spirit of Christ will eventually lead all good men and to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, to eventually enable dwell with our Heavenly Parents eternally.

        "Behold, he was spoken of by Moses; yea, and behold a type was raised up in the wilderness, that whosoever would look upon it might live. And many did look and live.
        And few understood the meaning of those things, and this because of the hardness of their hearts. But there were many who were so hardened that they would not look, therefore, they perished. Now the reason they would not look is because they did not believe that it would heal them.
        0 my brethren, if ye could be healed by merely casting about your eyes that ye might be healed, would ye not behold quickly, or would ye harden your heats in unbelief, and be slothful, that ye would not cast about your eyes, that ye might perish?
        If so, wo shall come upon you; but if not so, then cast about your eyes and begin to believe in the Son of God, that he will come to redeem his people, and that he shall suffer and die to atone for their sins; and that he shall rise again from the dead, which shall bring to pass the resurrection, that all men shall stand before him, to be judged at the last and judgment day, according to their works.
        And now, my brethren, I desire that ye shall plant this word in your hearts, and as it beginneth to swell even so nourish it by your faith. And behold, it will become a tree, springing up in you unto everlasting life. And then may God grant unto you that your burdens may be light, through the joy of his Son. And even all this can ye do if ye will. Amen."
Alma 33: 19-23

This work is dedicated to our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Front Cover by Roger Sorenson Typed and Edited by Linda French