By James M. Cowley
Used with permission

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During the 1960s and the 1970s, thousands and thousands of young people were lost! Yes, they were lost into a strange, yet powerful world of drug abuse, alcohol abuse, and immoral behavior. I know all about this world - I was one of those who became lost. I roamed from place to place trying to find joy and peace of mind in drugs, alcohol, and sex. But the more I fell into those strange, addictive behaviors, the more pain and trouble I suffered! Yet, the music I listened to yelled out, "It's O.K.! ,"Do it!", "Get high!", "Get Drunk!", "Enjoy Pre-marital sex!", "Be Crazy!", "Rebel!", "Don't Worry­ You'll find yourself"! So I kept on partying until I had nearly destroyed myself! Then, a Miracle occurred! I reached out to God and He reached out to me and changed my world! He, with his marvelous power, brought me back from the brink of destruction and set my feet on a good, righteous path! From that moment on, Jesus became my true Savior and changed my world forever!

This is my story. It reveals how, as a teenager, I followed the Pied Piper of Rock and Roll music and soon became trapped in drug, alcohol, and immoral habits. This story also shows the ''way out" of those habits and traps. If you, or someone you know is caught in those dangerous habits and traps, read this story. It is simple, straightforward, and tells the truth about drugs, alcohol, modem music, and immoral behavior. Truth is what Jesus said would set you free! The truth is what set me free from Satan's traps, and it can do the same for anyone involved in sinful habits. Don't be afraid of the Truth! It will lead you to true happiness and joy. Read on and see if this story will help you to know the Truth. It will truly open your eyes!

RISE FROM THE ASHES

When you look through the years And see what you could have been,

Db, what you might have been,

If you had had more time...

        Supertramp

 "Take the Long Way Home"

The crisis had come. My girlfriend was gone. Every dream I had was now shattered. I had almost nothing. When faced with this terrible reality, I was devastated. I began crying and for three days the tears flowed like rain. My roommate kept telling me to stop crying, but to no avail. It seemed as if the Judgment Day had come early!

Looking back over my life, I wondered how the once freckle-face, towheaded, carefree boy had developed into the loser I was now. While reflecting on my life, I realized that something as simple as music had made such a big difference in my world.

At the age of seven, I remember becoming aware of the popular music of that time. Little did I realize the influence music would have in my life, both positively and negatively.

It was 1962 and the song, "Downtown" by Petula Clark was a big hit. It was a happy, lively tune about going downtown to seek solace when you are lonely, bored, or blue. Another song I enjoyed at that time was "This Diamond Ring" by Gary Lewis and the Playboys; an interesting tune about the break up of a relationship. These early memories of "pop" music are deeply etched into the strata of my mind.

Later, at age 9, my family and I moved to Provo, Utah. My father was in the U.S. Army and was a Physician. He had been assigned to "hardship duty" and had to leave us in Utah and spend a year in Korea. As we traveled to our new home, I was listening to the car AM radio and became fascinated with the way radio signals from far away "skipped" off the ionosphere and could be heard in our vehicle! That fascination with long distance radio signals was increased after my father sent me a small, portable AM and Shortwave radio as a gift. I would listen for hours to signals from around the world but didn't remember enjoying any more new pop music. Being a young member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, I became acquainted with spiritual hymns and the music of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. Also at this time, I began to have tender feelings toward girls and I had my first "crush" on a pretty young thing who lived nearby.

After his hardship year in Korea, my Dad came home to us and we soon moved to Honolulu on the island of Oahu in Hawaii. I spent much time going to school, doing homework and going to swim at beautiful beaches all over the island. Music and radio took a backseat to swimming in the ocean, and I don't remember listening very much to the radio at this time. Although I was still fairly "innocent" as to the "ways of the world", I soon became influenced again by pop music and my world changed forever!

In 1966, my Dad, Mom, next older brother and I moved to an Army base in Aurora, Colorado. My parents bought me a bigger shortwave radio and I spent hour upon hour listening to distant radio stations. But somehow, local AM and FM radio stations began to fascinate me again, and I soon became an avid fan of Rock and Roll music! This is when the trouble began!

As you will see, Rock music, at least for some people can become a "driving force" in the creation of one's life. Embracing the wrong kind of rock music can open a "Pandora's Box" of trouble, pain, and loss of one's self control. I'm not just being an alarmist or a prude, I know this for a fact. After I began to embrace the wrong kind of music, my life soon went out of control! Not only did I begin changing, but I also began making very poor decisions and life style choices. How can something so seemingly innocent, fun, and enjoyable be so dangerous? Part of the problem is in the messages in the music. As you may remember, the rock groups, the Beatles and the Rolling Stones, among many others, became extremely popular in the 1960s. Psychedelic drugs, marijuana, drunken parties, drug parties, long hair, and "love-ins" soon became all the rage. The strong influence of the "hippie" movement and its associated music soon permeated my youthful, innocent world.

During the day, I would attend school at a local junior high and in the afternoons and evenings I would do homework, run around with friends, and tune-in to my favorite local AM rock radio station. It seemed my whole world view was changing both for good and for evil. I was becoming more mature and "open minded" but, as the scriptures say, I was "beginning to labor in sin."

I joined a local Boy Scout troop and made many friends while camping, hiking, and learning survival skills. At the same time, I was beginning to desire many ''worldly pleasures." As I look back on it all from a middle-aged perspective, I realize that much of the popular music I was immersed in was the "catalyst" for my learning to desire sin. As you read on I will show you how the "roots of evil" started, innocently enough, growing in my life.

During this period, I listened to rock music, often late into the night. One of the first songs I started enjoying was "Honkey Tonk Women" by the Rolling Stones. In this song, the lead singer, Mick Jagger, intones how much he enjoys wild times with those "Honkey Tonk Women". Before I heard this song, I had no idea what a woman like this was or did! But, as I listened to the song over and over and over again, I started wishing that I could have some sexual "fun" with one of those "Honkey Tonk Women". With the help of this and other songs, I began to have a "sexual awakening." But this was just the ''tip of the iceberg!"

Another song I listened to over and over was "Incense and Peppermints" by the group The Strawberry Alarm Clock. One of the verses in this song says, "Good sense and innocence cripple mankind." I didn't realize it at the time but all of my early moral teachings had taken a "direct hit" by the philosophy and lyrics of this music!

Another popular song, which I never could figure out the title of, spoke of a city park where the thing to do was to "get high there." Referring to getting high, the singer intones, "It's all too beautiful, it's all too beautiful..."

At the same time I was listening to all this music, our physical education teachers at school were showing us films about the dangers of drug and alcohol abuse. A great debate was occurring all over the country and the world, and I was smack dab in the middle of it! The problem was that the suggestive and immoral music was winning the battle.

Another rock group I heard and immediately took a liking to was called, "Iron Butterfly." My friends and I knew that this group's music was definitely influenced by drugs and alcohol but that didn't matter to us too much; we were still deeply impressed and influenced by it. I didn't find out until years later that my favorite song from this group got it's title when one of the drunken group members tried to say, "In the garden of Eden." Instead, his words became garbled and it sounded like, "Inna Goda Da Vida!" The members of the group immediately decided that should be the name of the song.

I must confess, I still like this song but I now realize that it, and many others that I listened to, made a big impression in my young mind and were a definite influence in my later decision to use drugs and alcohol. Another very strong influence came from the world famous rock group, The "Beatles." During the time I lived in Colorado (1966 to 1969), numerous Beatles songs were recorded and given much air play on radio and TV. I really enjoyed the early Beatles hits, "I Wanna Hold Your Hand", "She Loves You", and "I'll Follow The Sun". These early love songs seemed innocent because they were innocent! But as the Beatles members started experimenting with drugs, the lyrics of their later songs began to reflect that experimentation. One of the first drug oriented Beatles songs I remember hearing and enjoying was, “Strawberry Fields Forever". In this song they sang, "Let me take you down, 'cause I'm going to Strawberry Fields, nothing is real and (there's) nothing to get hung about- Strawberry Fields forever." This reference to "nothing is real" obviously referred to the unreal nature of drug induced hallucinations. To this day, this song is still remembered as one of the "anthems" of the 60's drug culture.

As the Beatles became bolder they wrote and recorded, "Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds". People very quickly realized that the title of this heavy song was an an achronym for the hallucinogenic drug, LSD.

Still later, the Beatles wrote and recorded the big hit, "Hey Jude". Although this controversial song's meaning was veiled in the lyrics, it was widely believed that the term "Jude" was a metaphor for the drug, heroin. The song's lyrics say in part, "Let it out and let it in ..." and many people believed this to be a reference to the process of injecting yourself with a hypodermic needle full of a heroin solution.

My life in Colorado was basically happy but I was deeply influenced by all the rock music I listened to. By the time I moved out of the state at age 15, some of my closest friends were already heavily involved with marijuana, alcohol "speed", and LSD. I hadn't yet tried any of these chemicals yet,

but I was very anxious to get a chance.

We moved from Colorado to a small town in southwestern Missouri. By this time, I was the last child left at home. My Dad became the director of a hospital for people with tuberculosis, emphysema, cancer, and other lung diseases and conditions. Neither of my parents realized how much I had changed while in Colorado or how much I had been influenced by all the drug inspired music. I also had little idea of how much I had changed in my thinking because of all of that music and because of my peers influences. However, it wasn't going to be long before those musical seeds of thought began to sprout and take root.

After I arrived in Missouri, I started High School as a 10th grader. I was a good student although some of my peers began to tease me about being one of "those Mormons." Music was still a big influence in my life and I found myself listening to the radio more and more. My parents even bought me record albums I liked but they didn't realize what the lyrics were saying about life, love, sex, drugs, and alcohol.

Being the last child at home, I tried to do the right things but a growing sadness and emptiness haunted me. I missed my brothers and my sister and I was anxious to start driving and start dating the cute girls I knew. As Satan would probably say, I was ''ripe for the picking". Another chapter in my life was beginning- I was discovering "the lure of Babylon".

THE LURE OF BABYLON

As my emptiness turned more and more into depression, I turned to rock music as a solace for my blues. My musical interests kept growing and soon I discovered a whole host of rock groups that were exploding onto the music scene. As the power of suggestion grew, I realized that I could start using drugs easier than I had previously supposed. One day I found that I could take pain relievers from my parents medicine cabinet without being caught. The only problem was that I couldn't swallow pills! - I had never learned how! So I mixed the powder of the pain relieving capsules with a glass of water and gulped the awful tasting concoction down. Before I knew it, I felt very, very good and like I was floating. Funny how that sadness I had seemed to disappear when I took those pills and capsules. I had discovered what I now call ''the Lume of Babylon"- the easy, worldly way to be happy and forget your troubles: just get "high"!

I continued stealing my parents pills and taking them as the days went by. One day I took seven caffeine (''No-Doz'') tablets to get a thrill. Instead, I got very sick and dizzy and ended up sitting in the bathroom for an hour hoping I wouldn't throw-up! This experience didn't stop me from doing drugs; I just learned to not take so many at one time.

It had taken just 4 years of musical "indoctrination" to convince me to take the plunge into the world of drugs and alcohol. The seeds of all those drug songs were "bearing fruit". It seemed that the music couldn't do much more damage. Little did I realize where I was heading. The trouble and damage was just beginning! As that school year drew to a close, I was getting happily high on pills and also my Mom's "cooking sherry" on a regular basis. I felt less empty and depressed as I escaped from reality. However, this couldn't go on forever.

My folks discovered that their prescriptions were disappearing and one night at dinner they asked me "point­blank" if I had been stealing and taking their pills. All of a sudden I was caught "red-handed" and I knew it! I burst out crying and confessed my sin. My Dad asked me how I could take the pills because he knew I couldn't swallow pills. I told him how I had been mixing the powder from the capsules with water and then "chugging" it. He then asked how I could stand to do this as the mixture tasted terrible. I simply replied, "Where there's a will, there's a way". Both of them then asked me to stop stealing and taking the pills. I promised to stop. I did quit at this time but I was still feeling depressed and wanting to be popular with my friends.

For a while I didn't have "pills and highs" but I still had rock and roll music. While visiting us in Missouri, my next older brother "turned me on" to some new, heavier rock music­ Jethro Tull, Jimi Hendrix, and Black Oak Arkansas. I also listened to more of the Rolling Stones and the Beatles, not to mention Elton John, Neil Diamond, Three Dog Night, John Denver, and others. Although it is hard to remember all the musical influences at this time, I do recall that getting "high" was still a popular theme. Jimi Hendrix sang about "Purple Haze", a type of LSD. He also sang about sex and messed-up relationships. Sex, sex, and more sex seemed to be what it was "all about". Even gentle singer John Denver was singing about how great an experience it was to get high with friends in the Rocky mountains!

The days and weeks flew by and soon it was my last week in 11 th grade. Meanwhile, my parents had flown out to Utah to set-up our new home. Yes, we were moving again! I stayed behind and finished the last few days of school. On the very last day of classes, a friend approached me and suggested that we and one other friend should get together and get "drunk" on some beer. I had not tried beer before this and even though I had promised to not get "high" anymore, the temptation was just too much! So that evening I succumbed to ''the Lure of Babylon" once again.

We gathered at my friends sister's house and we soon found ourselves drinking some 5% alcohol beer. I rather enjoyed the taste. We chugged down a few beers a piece and then something unexpected happened - we lost control of ourselves and went crazy! For the next two hours we joked, laughed, babbled, yelled, screamed, ran around, and caused chaos in the streets! It was my first real "drunk" and how ironic it was that now that I was finally being accepted by some of my non-Mormon peers and joining in their "fun", I had to move away!

The next day, although I was somewhat hung over, I boarded a jet and flew away toward Utah and my new home. Ironically, during my second flight, a stewardess offered me a glass of champagne! Wow, when it rains, it pours - alcohol!! When I got off the plane and met my parents, I was pretty ''tipsy'' !

By moving us to Utah my parents probably hoped I would be able to come clean and make a new start. But I knew a secret: using drugs and alcohol made my loneliness and depression somehow easier to cope with. "Babylon" was beginning to feel comfortable.

I wondered what it would be like in Utah among a majority of members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I soon found out it didn't matter where I was: "Babylon" was everywhere!

Our new home was in a small mining town. By the time High school started, I had several friends and spent much time socializing and running around. We had a common ground­ we all loved rock music and alcohol. One mend was able to get beer and we were soon drinking regularly. By the end of my second week in school, I was coming to classes "high" almost every day.

With new friends and some new found confidence, I began to be more interested in "girls"! If I would have been able to enjoy some normal and happy dating relationships with these girls, my drinking stage might have died of its own accord. Instead, my relationships were disappointing and usually of short duration. Soon, I stepped up my drinking even more. 

I guess the "straw that broke the camels back" occurred when a girl I had been dating and drinking with became upset with me one day because I had pouted a bit after she had told me that she needed some "space". I was too immature to realize that some freedom and space in a relationship was not a bad thing. This problem between us caused us to break-up and she hardly ever spoke to me again. After a while, I got over my hard feelings but it was too late; she totally refused to have anything more to do with me. I suffered a lot of pain and hurt feelings after this and I tried to drown my sorrow with more alcohol.

Soon after this episode in my life, a casual friend started tempting me to smoke marijuana with him. I was very curious and interested in trying "pot"; and one night when my parents were out of town, this mend came over to our trailer house and together we smoked a couple of marijuana 'joints".

At first I didn't feel very much but after a while I noticed that the rock music we were listening to sounded "different"- more interesting and exciting and "heavy". My curiosity was now "whetted" and I kept smoking until I began to feel "euphoric"- in other words "high" or "stoned".

This was a turning point in my life but at the time I was unable to see it. Up to this time, I had been attending church meetings regularly. I had noticed how upset and antagonistic the older adults in my ward were toward those youth who did drugs and alcohol. I didn't feel that these hard feelings toward these wayward youth were right. Secretly, I was using drugs and alcohol and yet I was still going to church meetings. Eventually, it became too difficult to live with a foot in both worlds. I felt more comfortable with my rock and roll music and my "druggie" friends, and I felt the stalwart church members were too prejudiced and old fashioned. I started missing church and instead, I hung out with my "partying" friends and began smoking pot every day.

THE PHOENIX CATCHES FIRE

Looking back on my wild drug and alcohol days makes me think about the mythical bird, the "Phoenix". The Phoenix was a great bird that supposedly lived many, many years ago. One day the Phoenix caught on fire and then burned to ashes! According to the story, this great bird then rose up from its own ashes and flew away. This story is basically about death and being reborn again. It is symbolic of the "Resurrection" that we believe in, and find in Christian religious doctrine.

The person who uses drugs and alcohol is like the Phoenix. As this person uses many different illicit drugs and types of alcoholic beverages, those chemicals start destroying and distorting his mind and body. It is similar to the Phoenix­ the person in a sense "catches on fire". Drug users fondly call this "burning out" or getting "wasted". As the user continues his drug and alcohol abuse, he damages himself in many ways. Like the Phoenix, you might say he "burns to ashes". In other words, he damages and hurts himself so much, that eventually he reaches "rock bottom". If he is wise, he sees that he has to stop using drugs and alcohol and turn his life around! If he is successful in repenting of his drug and alcohol abuse, he then works on finding truth and making a new and successful life for himself. Like the Phoenix, he is reborn or resurrected in a sense and begins to "rise from the ashes and fly"!!

As I made my gradual descent into the crazy world of drug and alcohol abuse, I started to "catch on fire" like the Phoenix. I do not wish to go into detail about those strange and chaotic days but instead will tell how much the Rock and Roll music I listened to affected my life. As I slipped away from my spiritual moorings, I immersed myself into more and more heavy, hard rock music. My friends and I got ''high'' every day and night and listened to many different rock groups and singers, including Led Zepplin, Grand Funk Railroad, REO Speedwagon, Wishbone Ash, Montrose, Bad Company, Aerosmith, Yes, Joe Walsh and the Eagles, Jethro Tull, Pink Floyd, more from the Rolling Stones, and much more music of the Beatles.

Two rock groups in particular stand out in my memories of this period. The first is Pink Floyd. When my friends and I got drunk and stoned, we really related to and enjoyed the music of Pink Floyd. Much of their music seems to be psychedelic in nature and has "insanity" as a popular theme. Their music and lyrics are deeply philosophical in nature and have much deep meaning. We would listen to Pink Floyd albums and tapes over and over and over.

The other group that stands out in my memory is actually a singer who has been in two groups. His name is Joe Walsh. He is very popular among "stoners". His music talks of getting high and was very "heavy" rock and roll. It was very enjoyable when you listened to it stoned. In his song, "Rocky Mountain Way", Joe sings, "spent the last year Rocky mountain way, couldn't get much higher. Out to pasture, think it's safe to say, time to open fire..." All of the druggies figured that the Rocky Mountain Way" meant the "stoned" or "high" life. I believe these verses were a way of saying "keep getting high and don't stop!" and also, "get high like there's no tomorrow!" Sounds like the old adage, "eat, drink, and be merry for tomorrow we die" doesn't it? The song continues, "and we don't need the ladies crying 'cause the  story's sad, 'cause the Rocky mountain way is better than the way we had..." If you believe this song, you might think that getting high is better that being "straight". I guess it is better IF: you enjoy confusion, hangovers, overdoses, run-ins with the Police and Highway Patrol, marital problems and spouse abuse, child abuse, paranoia and severe mental illness, violence and unbridled anger, temper tantrums, inability to trust people, car accidents, being arrested, spending time in jail, being sick and tired, and even early death. Is the Rocky Mountain Way really better than being straight?? Those things don't sound like fun to me!

As I mentioned earlier, I quit going to church at this time and began hanging out with all the "freaks" and "stoners". As time passed I listened to heavier rock music (especially "heavy metal music") and gradually "graduated" to heavier, harder drugs. I tried methamphetamine ("speed"), LSD ("acid"), mescaline, peyote, psilocybin mushrooms, pain killers, "downers", and lots of cocaine ("coke").

Also at this time, I began being immoral with girls I was dating. I still yearned for a happy, genuine relationship with a woman but my drug and alcohol life style led me to lust and not love.

Drugs eventually became substitutes for reality. This was because my messed up life and poor relationships were just too hard to face without drugs and booze. Life was becoming a series of disappointments and broken dreams. Somehow I just didn't connect those bad times with the drug and alcohol abuse.

By 1975, I had flunked out of college. It was just too hard to think and study seriously while I was ''wired'' on cocaine and other drugs.

One day I met a very friendly girl at one of the drug parties I attended. We dated a little while and soon became intimate. Meanwhile, my parents realized that their honest, God fearing son, was no longer either. One afternoon my Dad took me for a long ride with him in his car. He told me that he didn't approve of my drug and booze lifestyle and that drugs would hurt me. He said that if I wanted to keep doing drugs, I would have to move out of his home. He also told me that I should never get a girl pregnant out of wedlock because that would ruin my life. After this talk with my Dad, I decided to move out of our home and live life the way I wanted to. My girlfriend (I will call her Carol for the sake of anonymity) and I then moved into a local motel room. I went to work in a nearby mine. Meanwhile, my parents moved out of town and back to our old hometown in Missouri.

I worked and Carol and I continued to get stoned every day. We attended a lot of parties and smoked a lot of dope. I was scared of getting married so we just kept living together.

Before long I began to notice that getting high so much was having some bad effects on my mind. I was having some paranoia and so I decided to quit taking drugs. I quit taking drugs and smoking dope for awhile until one day, two stoner friends came by to see me. We were talking when one of them grabbed me and held me tightly while the other one blew marijuana smoke in my face. I tried to hold my breath but soon had to breathe. I began to inhale the smoke and soon stopped trying to get free. Soon I was very high. My friends just couldn't accept that a fellow stoner would actually "go straight" so they deprived me of my agency and forced me to get stoned. This incident started me on another long period of heavy pot smoking, drug use, and beer drinking.

Meanwhile, I continued to listen to all kinds of Rock music and began to hear songs ofa serious nature. One of these songs was called "White Rabbit" by a group called Jefferson Airplane. This was an anti-drug song that warned of the possibility that you might lose your sanity if you abused drugs.

Another Jefferson Airplane song was, "Somebody to Love". In this tune the singer warns that ''you better want somebody to love, you better need somebody to love, you better find somebody to love..." This song seemed to be a warning that everyone, as they get older, will definitely need somebody to love. I had a great fear of being alone, so this song made a big impression on me!

Another "warning" type song that impressed me was "Desperado" by the Eagles. The lyrics of this one warn that, "Desperado, you better let somebody love you, let somebody love you, you better let somebody love you before it's too late". This song was so ominous sounding that I was struck with fear almost every time I heard it. I sure didn't want to wake up one day and find out it was ''too late" to let somebody love me!

A song by singers Seals and Crofts was called, "It's Gonna Come Down on You". It too sounded an ominous warning: " I tried to reach you in that cold, black temple you've been building, but ooh, it's gonna come down on you".

Another Seals and Crofts song was called, "Castles in the Sand. I believe it is a warning about the dangers of drug and alcohol abuse. It speaks about a young man who loves a young lady but his drug and alcohol abuse has made him too scatter brained to ever be a mature adult. One verse tells of this young man's desire to love and support this young lady but then reveals, "but I'm like the sand when the wind blows." Later it says, "like castles in the sand, they'll never, never stand", and then it says, "I'll never be your man, I'll never be your man."

Despite all these "dark warnings", I persisted in my wild ways. I experimented with the hallucinogenic drug, LSD, smoked "tons" of marijuana and hashish, and almost "drowned" myself with beer, tequila, and other liquors. It seemed like I was partying like there was "no tomorrow". But the constant partying began to take a toll on my mental health. I was fired from my job for missing too much work. This soon brought on severe economic problems for me and my girlfriend. My folks, who had kept in touch with me thru the phone and the mail, realized my predicament and sent a "care package" of food.

Shortly after this time, Carol and I and an old mend packed up and left town. Myoid mend was a young man I had known many years ago in Missouri. He had come to Utah and had run into me one day. He was also doing a lot of drugs and drinking a lot of alcohol and had ended up living with me and Carol. At first we drove to my brothers home in Salt Lake City. After we stayed there for a few days, we decided to go back to Missouri. When we arrived there my mend (his name was Ray) went to stay at his parents place and my girlfriend and I stayed at my parents home for a while. Eventually we moved out and rented a small house in the same town. I got a job and worked for about 6 months before getting laid off. I was so confused and messed up, that I started going out with other another girl behind Carols back. She soon found out about this affair and even though we weren't married, Carol confronted me about it and then she became very and angry and flew into a rage. She hit me over and over with her fists and then told me to get out for good. I moved into a small apartment in town and tried to apologize to Carol but she wouldn't make up with me or take me back.

A MOMENT OF TRUTH

The music of the Terrestrial kingdom is often happy and motivating but has some false teachings in it. (From the philosophies of men). Here are some insights into Terrestrial­ type music:

Truth and honesty is in much of this music.

Morals and righteous behaviors are found in much of it.

A MIRACLE OCCURS - A PRAYER IS ANSWERED!

After hearing that discouraging song by David Gilmour, I started losing hope and experiencing more fear. Meanwhile, my parents had all but given up on me. Disappointed and hurt by the choices I had been making, they were sad and discouraged.

One day during this period my Father was asked to serve in an important church calling. This opportunity to serve in the church was something special for my Dad, who had always loved the Lord and the church. On the day appointed for my Dad to be set apart for this church calling, he was humble and grateful, although he was still saddened that his son was living such a destructive lifestyle. Elder Mark E. Petersen, an Apostle in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints came and set my Father apart for the calling and then gave him a special blessing with an amazing promise! Without previously knowing anything about the situation of our family, Apostle Petersen gave my Dad a promise that I, his son, would one day return to the gospel of Jesus Christ and the teachings of my childhood..

This blessing comforted my parents but also surprised them because they didn't see how I could possibly turn around from my sinful and crazy lifestyle. I knew nothing about this blessing and promise my Dad had been given and my life was continuing pretty much in the same downward path it had been for the past 6 years. But just a few weeks after this something amazing happened to me!

One day I went to see a girl I had been dating and we were sitting in her apartment talking when her cousin walked in. I didn't know him. He had long hair and a rough look. He started talking and before long I knew something was wrong. He bragged about how many people he had beat up in fights. He seemed to be pleased that he had hurt so many other people. We had been smoking some marijuana at the time and all of a sudden I became very fearful. I realized that I didn't even want to be around someone as violent and cruel as he was. The fear kept growing until I stood up and said I had to go home. I walked out the door and down the steps and headed downtown to my apartment.

As I mentioned before, I had been worrying and fearing about the notion that I was going to hell. I was thinking intensely about this fear as I went into my apartment when suddenly a thought hit me: "If you are going to hell, what will happen to your ex-girlfriend Carol?" As I pondered this new and disturbing thought, another thought, this one more gentle, came to me: "Why don't you pray to Heavenly Father for her?" I hadn't prayed for almost 5 years but I didn't care - I was worried and I needed help, so I knelt down and poured out my soul to God. I told him that I knew I had really messed up my life and was going to hell, but I didn't want my ex- girlfriend to suffer the same fate! I prayed for quite a while and then went to bed. It had been a long day!

The next day I got up and started my daily routine but as the day wore on, I found that thoughts and memories of my early religious and spiritual training were popping into my mind, one after another! Most of these spiritual thoughts and memories I had not had for several years. Soon, so many thoughts about the gospel of Christ had come into my mind, that I couldn't think of anything else. It was as if "windows" were being opened up into my mind and gospel truth, "light", and knowledge were pouring in through them! This same process continued on all that day and again for two more days. At the end of these three days, my mind was so illuminated with gospel light and truth, that I knew I had been living the wrong kind of life for the past 6 years and I could no longer continue that way! My conscience, which I had ignored for several years, was now alive and well! For the first time in my life, I really KNEW that drugs, alcohol, and immoral behavior were WRONG, WRONG, WRONG and definitely harmful to a persons body and soul!

The 3 days passed and I realized that God had answered my Prayer! I had received special personal revelation and guidance from Heavenly Father thru the Holy Ghost. But I was still worried and somewhat paranoid, so I went to my parents house and asked my Dad "point-blank" if I was going to Hell. He said "No", that I didn't know enough to go to hell. Then he asked me why I was concerned about that. I related to him about my recent paranoid fears and then told him that I had been praying for the first time in about 5 years and that I had received much gospel light and knowledge as a result of that prayer! He was very surprised but kept his wits about him and then invited me to go to church with him and Mom the next Sunday. I said that I would like to go with them and I knew it was a good thing to do!

That next Sunday we went to Church. In one meeting one of the speakers talked about the importance of setting a good example for the people we meet. When I heard this, I realized what a terribly bad example I had been for the past 5 years and my conscience was really "pricked" and hurting! I felt very guilty about my past behavior. I mentioned how I was feeling to my Dad and he immediately reassured me that despite my past bad example and behavior, I could now repent and change my life for the better! I realized now that my drug and alcohol use, along with my sexual sins, was taking me on a one way trip to a "hellish life." I also knew that I had really lost control of my behavior and my life during the past several years. I was convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that I really desperately needed to ''turn it all around' and go a new direction. I also knew that drugs, alcohol, and immorality were not helping me or anyone else to have a happy, successful, or fulfilling life. But I now knew that because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, I could truly repent of my past sins and begin a new, happier and more peaceful life! It was during this time that I made what was probably the biggest and most important decision of my entire life (and maybe in my entire eternity): I decided to quit using all drugs, alcohol, and immoral behavior and become an active member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints!! It was time to stop the "train" of my wrecked life and turn it around completely! A very loving Heavenly Father had answered my desperate prayer and helped me to have a great, personal miracle in my life!

THERE IS AN ANSWER

In the stunning miracle of my answered prayer, I learned that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ really do exist, and that they answer sincere prayers, and that they love all of us with a tremendous, unconditional love. I learned that they work with us in our minds and hearts, through our thoughts, perceptions, memories, and emotions. I learned that Heavenly Father and Jesus love me greatly, and care very much about how I live my life on Earth. I learned that they don't want us to mess-up our precious lives, minds, jobs, families, health, and relationships with illegal, mind damaging drugs, stupefying liquors, or degrading, empty sexual behaviors. I learned that they love families and want parents and children to be friends, to be kind to one another, and to love one another. I learned that Heavenly Father really does have a great plan of salvation for His children, and that I am very important and valuable to Him. I learned that if we will just talk with Him through the special avenue of prayer, He will help me, answer me, and give me personal revelation and knowledge about what I need to do in my life to succeed in righteous ways. I LEARNED THAT JESUS IS NOT A " WIMP OR A SISSY" AND THAT "MEEKNESS IS NOT WEAKNESS"; IT IS ACTUALLY A WILLINGNESS TO LEARN AND OBEY GOD'S COMMANDS AND FOLLOW JESUS CHRIST! Above all, I learned that Jesus Christ's Atonement and Resurrection are the most important part of God's plan of Salvation and that it is EXTREMELY IMPORTANT TO FOLLOW THE COMMANDMENTS AND PREPARE FOR ETERNITY "BEFORE WE DIE!"

It is truly Amazing to realize how much God and Jesus love us, and how much eternal truth they can give us through answers to our prayers! Truly we can sing along with the old hymn: 

AMAZING GRACE, HOW GREAT THE SOUND THAT SAVE A WRETCH LIKE ME

I ONCE WAS LOST, BUT NOW I"M FOUND, WAS BLIND BUT NOW I SEE!" 

In his rock song, "There's No Way Out of Here", David Gilmour sings that "There never was an answer". As I have gained spiritual knowledge, I have realized that NOW I KNOW BETTER! I testify that there is an answer!! There is an answer to all of our questions; the great and deep ones, down to the smallest, trivial ones. There is an answer to all of our trials, and problems, and tribulations. THE ATONEMENT OF JESUS CHRIST IS THE ANSWER! The gospel of Jesus Christ is also the answer. The Infinite Love of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ is the answer!! The Father and the Son have all wisdom, all knowledge, and all Power! They can answer all our questions, change our lives and direction, and mold us into great, honest, moral, decent, kind, loving, pure, noble, happy, and courageous people! All they ask of us is to talk with them in prayer, become humble and meek, repent of our sins and the things we have done to hurt others, and keep his commandments the rest of our lives. As we turn to them, they turn to us!

Remember our discussion about the great bird, the Phoenix? After he burned to ashes, he became alive again, rose from those ashes, and flew away! You don't have to let drugs, alcohol, and immorality DESTROY YOU! You can turn your broken life around and repent; and experience the miracle of basking in the love and peace that can only come from Heavenly Father and our Savior, Jesus Christ! Yes, you can "RISE FROM THE ASHES" of your broken life and have a happy, peaceful, and love filled life!

From personal experience, I KNOW that the greatest, most peaceful, and most enlightened soul satisfying experiences we can ever have, come from getting to love and personally know Heavenly Father and our Savior, Jesus Christ! Then we will be Forgiven, healed, justified, sanctified, perfected, and lifted up by them. These experiences with our Heavenly Father, and our Savior, are so marvelous and wonderful, that we will have a life that is rich in blessings, peaceful, fulfilling, exciting, interesting, and abundant forever!

"The thief cometh not but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly." John 10:10 

"But as it is written, eye hath not seen nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him." 1 Corinthians 2:9

I TURN MY BACK ON BABYLON FOREVER

When God intervened in my life in a marvelous and special way, answering my prayer and pouring out eternal truth upon my mind and soul, 1 received a strong motivation and a surge of willpower and strength to strive one last time to give up drugs, alcohol, and immorality. 1 knew 1 couldn't do it all alone so 1 moved back in with my parents. Both Dad and Mom encouraged me to go to church and again live the gospel. They knew 1 would meet new friends at church who would give me support and added strength to stay off drugs and alcohol. As 1 strove to keep the commandments, my parents were a great source of love and strength. Once again they became my good friends. 1 was very grateful that they accepted me again so well despite my years of rebellion and sin.

Slowly my life began to turn around. But after years of substance abuse, 1 had developed bad habits and psychological hang-ups. 1 needed someone to listen to my problems, feelings, and worries. By this time in my life 1 was pretty confused.

Luckily, my Dad arranged for me to start seeing two counselors. These two were a husband and wife team. There names were Kenny and Norlene. Kenny had once had an alcohol abuse problem himself. As 1 talked to them, 1 was able to unburden myself of many worries and fears. Norlene knew my self image was bad and she gave me a button to wear on my shirt that was supposed to help me work on liking myself and feeling self worth. This button had the letters "IALAC" on it which stood for "I AM LOVEABLE AND CAPABLE." Whenever 1 looked at the button, 1 automatically thought that positive phrase. I still have that button some 27 years later!

Even though I was only able to see these two great souls for a couple of months, I was very glad and fortunate to have had their support at this crucial time in my life!

One of the important steps in my recovery process was finding new role models for my new life. I didn't realize it at the time, but for the past 5 years I was mostly using rock stars and some close friends as my role models. What had these role models taught me? They usually wore long hair, behaved in immoral and perverted ways, and did lots of drugs and alcohol. They didn't obey God's commandments, played loud, wild music, profaned and cussed badly, and expressed much disrespect for their parents and elders, as well as anyone in a position of authority. Their attitudes were of almost total rebellion against anything good, godly, or moral.

I had been influenced by these bad examples for such a long time and it had taken a heavy toll on me. Now as I turned my life around and repented of my sins, I really needed some good moral role models to look up to. So I made my parents and my counselors my new role models. I respected them and wanted to be like them. My parents had always been good to me and were solid citizens. They totally avoided drugs and alcohol, were strictly moral, and loved Heavenly Father and our Savior, Jesus Christ. At this time, I began to realize that the very people I had once laughed at and labeled as "squares" and "old fuddy duddies" were much more intelligent, kind, and decent than I had previously realized. My good parents now seemed much more worthy of my emulation and respect!

Before long, I realized that the ultimate role model- the very person I had ignored, forgotten, and taken for granted for so long, was of course, my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ! When I realized how much he loves me and has done for my salvation and exaltation, I grew to love him, and his true Church, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I feel intense respect and awe for him because of his perfect life and teachings, his marvelous creations and world without ends, and his ultimate act of love for all of us, his Atonement, wrought on Gethsemane and Calvary; and his resurrection, which guarantees that we will gain our bodies back at a future time. Because of Jesus, sin and death have no sting for those who

believe in him, repent of their sins, and follow Him (obey his commandments). Also at this time, I learned that I needed to be accountable for my actions, be honest in my words and deeds, and begin to trust others again. You see, in the drug and alcohol culture (Babylon), there is a tremendous lack of honesty. If you abuse drugs, you usually can't trust anyone, and they, in turn, don't trust you. Hardly any drug and alcohol abuser will tell the truth - especially if they are only interested in getting high or making money selling drugs to others. This lack of honesty is mentioned in a song by Billy Joel, called "Honesty". In the song, he sings that, "Honesty is such a lonely word, everyone is so untrue. Honesty is hardly ever heard, and mostly what I need from you."

My parents exhibited true honesty and I knew I could trust them. I also knew they loved me and would help me beat my drug and alcohol problem. Another realization I had at this time, was that most of the good, upstanding, and moral members of my church believed in honesty and practiced what they preached. I discovered that people who are trustworthy and honest in all their dealings, are worth more than gold!

Once again, my parents began to trust me as I turned away from "Babylon". As I prayed to God daily, and became more honest and upright, I was filled with a hope in Christ. An amazing thing happened as I continued praying, feasting on the scriptures, and being drug free and honest: I received a great influx of strength into my being that helped me to no longer want drugs, alcohol, or immorality. I just had no desire to do anything that was contrary to God's teachings and commandments. If God would help a person as vile and sinful as I had been, to become a righteous, upright person, I knew he would help anyone who sincerely asked him for help! I didn't ever want to lose the security of knowing that Jesus was always there at my side helping me and I wanted to tell everyone how wonderful it is to trust in Him. It is equally as wonderful when you realize that Heavenly Father and Jesus can trust you! They must have had a lot of love for me and trust in me to save me from my sinful and polluted state, and, at the same time, give me a great outpouring of love and truth as an answer to my humble prayer. When we are faithful and are trusted by the Lord, He truly can perform miracles in our lives and in the lives of our loved ones.

THE STEPS TO GIVING UP DRUG AND ALCOHOL HABITS

During the months and years that followed my return to the Lord, I spent much time in sincere prayer and soul searching. I gradually discovered the series of steps that seem to be necessary for a person to take in order to give up drug and alcohol addiction. There are eight of these steps and each one is important. 

Step one: Become personally aware that you have a serious drug and/ or alcohol addiction. 

As you have read, I had to lose my girlfriend, get arrested, spend a night in jail, be in a traumatic auto accident, develop emotional problems, lose most of my friends, and run out of money, before I finally realized I had a serious drug and alcohol problem in my life! Most drug dependant people will deny over and over to themselves and to others that they have any kind of drug and/or alcohol problem. Denial of these problems will make it very hard to do anything constructively about them. How can you work on correcting a problem if you don't believe you actually have one? 

Step two: You must understand and accept that there is a definite relationship between your drug and alcohol habits and the serious problems you are experiencing in your life. 

It was only after I remembered the true teachings of Christ, that I was able to put the pieces of the puzzle together. What I came up with was a real, true connection between my drug and alcohol problems and my many personal problems. I realized how I had created a "hell" in my life and at the same time, made a big mess of my personal affairs, and relationships. It was only after this that I found motivation and added strength to turn my life around. 

Step three: Have a moment of truth when you admit that you need help to get off drugs and alcohol. 

My 3 day spiritual experience when God answered my heartfelt prayer was my moment of truth. It was then I realized that I needed God to help me get totally away from drugs, alcohol and immorality. I also admitted that I needed my parents and counselors to assist me in making the great changes I had to make. This step is similar to the first step that alcoholics take when they go to Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). This step is, "We admitted that we were powerless over alcohol; that our lives had become unmanageable." This step is very important because it forces the addict to turn to God and others for help in getting over their addictions. When God becomes your source of strength -- not your own puny efforts-- then you can succeed! 

Step four: Find someone you can confide in, talk to, trust, and tell your problems and faults to. 

This person to confide in may be a counselor, a psychologist or psychiatrist, a parent, or a good friend. I was very lucky to be

able to confide in my Dad, and to reach out to him for a helping hand! I was also very lucky to have many good counselors over the years that I have been able to discuss my problems and fears with. 

Step five: You need to find someone to be a good role model for you to follow and emulate during your new life.

As you have read, my parents and my Savior, Jesus Christ became my excellent role models to follow during my recovery. As I saw and followed their examples, I gained strength and learned new ways to succeed in the mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual areas of my life. We all need good role models to follow and pattern our lives after. 

Step six: Develop Honesty and learn to trust in others again. 

Honesty is very, very important and so is trust. They go hand in hand. Find friends and people you can love, trust, and be honest with. Don't be afraid to trust and be honest! There are many people who have been through the same or very similar problems as you have. They can help you to grow and conquer your bad habits. But realize that you don't need to tell everyone about your drug and alcohol problems. Find some very trustworthy people to share your ideas with and then put the past behind you. And don't lie about yourself. You will know when it is okay to open up and when it is better to stay silent. Remember- nobody likes a liar! To have a successful life you must be strictly honest in all your dealings and trust others as much as you can. 

Step seven: You need to pray regularly to God for strength, hope, help, and guidance. 

Remember: You can't quit your vicious bad habits without outside help! Heavenly Father is the best outside help. He can give you power and strength when you need it. He can help you to go on even when you are discouraged! Without Heavenly Father, you will probably fail-it is that simple. He wants to help you! He wants you to call on him! He can become your best source of strength! Pray diligently and pray often! He will help you! 

Step eight: You need to keep active physically, mentally, and spiritually. 

One of Satan's playgrounds is the idle or bored mind. You need to keep active, learning, trying, doing, growing, and enjoying life. Every day you should study something, read something, do some physical exercise, and study the scriptures. Being active reduces the temptations to do drugs or drink alcohol. Doing things and accomplishing things is a great self esteem booster. The more you accomplish, the better you feel! Working, playing, and exercising are great stress relievers. Keep Active!

These are the eight steps of conquering a drug and alcohol habit. As they often say, you need to take it "ONE DAY AT A TIME"! Try not to think about your sad, messed ­up past or worry about your future. Just pray, work, trust God and live a righteous life.

Now I'm sure someone will criticize this chapter as being overly simplistic. But life is much easier if you break it down into a series of small daily steps or goals. You do not have to complicate your life needlessly to overcome your bad habits. Just memorize the eight steps and try to follow them diligently! At night, sit down before you go to bed and ask yourself how did I do? Then promise yourself to try a little harder tomorrow. And then ask our Heavenly Father to help you the next day. Then thank him for the help He has already given you! Be sure to count your many, many blessings and thank Him for all of them. Let Him know that you love him and that you want to live a righteous, happy life. You will be surprised at how your life will turn around and how you will start to realize the right paths to take to overcome your problems. God is always there to help. I testify that He will help you if you only ask and then do your best to live His commandments. Remember: The road back may look hard now, but one day you will look back and be "amazed" at your progress! You will succeed if you include God in your life and remember His beloved Son, Jesus Christ! Remember, you have very good friends in High Places!! As the famous Dr. Robert Schuller said, "GOD'S GOT THE POWER IF YOU'VE GOT THE FAITH!"

YOU DON'T HAVE TO SUFFER

As you turn your life around and give up your evil habits, remember the Phoenix! Look up, "Rise From the Ashes and Fly." Give it your best shot and make your life something that both you and your Heavenly Father can be really happy about! And as you do, think about the music you have been and are listening to. Are the messages in that music telling you good, wholesome, and positive things or negative, evil things that will eventually hurt your life because of their corrosive, evil influence?

About 25 years ago, I realized that much ofthe records I owned contained lyrics that promoted sin, evil, pain, and suffering. I examined my record collection and took out about 12 albums that contained lyrics of wickedness and negativity. I then took these albums and threw them off a local bridge over a nearby river! Although I regretted that I had "littered" the river landscape, I knew that the river would eventually reduce those albums to "tiny pieces!" Throwing those records off that bridge was my way of rejecting evil! It was also my way of saying, "Satan, I won't listen to you ANYMORE! Now GET THEE HENCE!!"

Now I am much more selective about the music I listen to. I still enjoy much modem music but I refuse to listen to music with evil, trashy lyrics or content! I want to put only good, positive, and righteous thoughts and music into my mind! From sad experience, I KNOW how powerful music and the spoken word can be in a person's life!

Now I have shared with you the best wisdom I have acquired about Music, drugs, alcohol, and immorality and how to give up these destructive habits. As I finished writing this book a distant memory came to mind. Back in about 1977, I was at a friends house and I started looking through an album collection she had. Suddenly, I caught sight of an album by a heavy metal rock group I had listened to in the early 1970s. The group was called "Hawkwind" and the title of the album was, "We Took the Wrong Step A Long Time Ago." This shook me up quite a bit and I immediately thought that I too had taken the "Wrong Step" many years before. Then I thought, "Yes, I took a Fall!" I realized, as that rock group must have realized, that drugs, alcohol, and immorality are truly the "Wrong Step" to take. During those many years ago, many of us took that Step-­a Step "Down" and a "Fall!" But just because you take one or more downward "steps", doesn't mean you have to keep on going downward! One reason Jesus performed the Atonement for all of us was so we could avoid the "eternal pains and troubles" caused by our misguided and downward steps. Jesus loves us and doesn't want us to suffer for our sins. All we have to do is repent, turn our lives around, and follow Him! It is that simple! The "straight life" may not always be easy but it leads to the happiest, most joyful future! When this life is over, you will realize how important it was and is to live a good life and follow Christ. Remember, it is not a terrible sin to take a “fall”­ It is only terrible not to "pick yourself up again!"

Many years ago a rock group called AC/DC recorded a song called, "Highway to Hell." The lyrics in this song seem to indicate that they are happy and excited to be on their way to Hell. Don't be fooled by them! Hell is real and is a place of "misery" and ''torment.'' No one who goes to Hell will be happy. Instead, they will suffer endless pain and torment; and ''weeping, wailing, and gnashing of teeth." Does that sound Happy or Fun to you?? I didn't think so! Jesus doesn't want us to end up in Hell. He suffered for every person's sins, pains, mistakes, and illnesses, so we won't have to suffer them ourselves. He loves you! He is serious about you living his commandments. Please choose eternal happiness over eternal misery and pain! Choose to follow Christ NOW!

"Wherefore men are free according to the flesh; and all things are given them which are expedient unto man. And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil, for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself." 2 Nephi 2:27

Jesus Christ is the great Mediator of all men! He wants you to be happy forever! On the other hand, the devil hates you, and wants to deceive you and destroy your soul. You are free to choose one or the other. Remember, eternity is a long, long, long time and your eternal happiness is at stake! Choose wisely! Choose Jesus Christ!

HOW PARENTS, FAMILIES, AND FRIENDS CAN HELP LOVED ONES WITH DRUG AND ALCOHOL PROBLEMS

1. Pray faithfully for the person or persons who have the drug, alcohol, or immorality problems. Pray day and Night. Pour out your soul to Heavenly Father and let him know how much you love the person or persons with the chemical or sexual problems. Ask in as much faith as you can muster for Heavenly Father to help the addict to turn his life around and repent. Also, ask Him for patience and strength to accept His will for them and you! Remember: "Thy Will Be Done." Try to accept God's "Time Table" for this great trial.

2. Let the person with the drug, alcohol, or immorality problems know how much you love them. And be sure to leave no doubt in their mind about how you never can approve of them abusing drugs, alcohol; or being immoral. Don't be afraid to take a stand about this. When my Dad realized that I was using drugs, alcohol, and being immoral, He told me he could not approve of my lifestyle and that if I wanted to continue to do those things, I would have to move out of his home and live elsewhere. To this day, I still have great respect for my Dad for taking that stand and being honest with me. And yes, I did move out and got my own place.

3. Love them and help them if you can, but don't interfere with the consequences of their actions. In other words, don't "rescue" them from the problems and consequences of their bad behaviors. Yes, it hurts to see them suffer, but if you always save them the problems they have created for themselves, they may never learn that drugs, alcohol, and immorality have serious consequences and that they need to quit these bad behaviors or they will never find true peace of mind. Sometimes the person will need to hit "rock-bottom" before they will see the light and turn their lives around. 

4. Don't be too hard on yourself or blame yourself for their drug abuse or other problems. Usually the persons drug, alcohol, and immorality problems are a result of their incorrect choices and not your "fault". No matter how poor a parent, or brother, or sister, or friend you may have been, always remember that they made their own choices and were not forced to make those choices. 

5. Remember that most abusers of drugs, alcohol, or sex have emotional problems or hang-ups. This is often why they became users in the first place. They not only make poor choices but also often use drugs, alcohol, or sex to try to ease the pain and problems caused by these emotional hang-ups. It seems that the more a person hurts